How To Care Less

I definitely care too much about what others think of me. I drive myself  crazy with thoughts about what impact I leave on others. I make my own little problems a lot bigger just because I say myself that I need to do things because of others. I simply neglect my own feelings because I’m too invested in the thoughts about others and how I can make everyone around me happy. 

A Letter To Ana

Dear Ana,

I do not know you. I have never met you personally. However, I know that you exist because you know some of my friends. Having  common friends with you is not pleasant at all. I just want to make one thing clear from the start on – I do not want to be friends with you. I do not appreciate your existence. I dislike you for being persuasive and dominant. You are able to control the lives of others. You are able to influence the lives of others – the lives of my friends. 

The Shadow That Still Walks Behind Me

I see myself kneeling on the floor, crying. One arm rested on my leg. The other one trembling. I have a razor blade in my right hand. I imagine myself cutting. But I could not. I see myself taking a scissor. It is blunt. I am unable to cut myself properly. It only leaves little marks and scratches behind. But it hurts. It leaves a burning and stinging pain behind. I see myself sobbing and shaking all over.